i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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