I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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