i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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