somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
