there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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