The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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