R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
