so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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