; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
420 ftw
oh god the rape fog is back!
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
