I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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