see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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