I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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