I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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