We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
