this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
