I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need water and some morals
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
