so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
operation have a gay friend backfired
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
