my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
