Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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