It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
only if we run a train.
done.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
