so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
