My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
