I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
