one two three fourrrrnication!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
