I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she smelled like a LAN party
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
