I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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