you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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