i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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