My liver just broke up with me...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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