I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude i'm inner monologue high
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
