oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
