DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
