we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
