It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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