I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize