I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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