you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
