I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
