Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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