if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
