I think my fart just growled at me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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