i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
