So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
