I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
