She's JV to your varsity
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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