Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
