Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
