I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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