Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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