So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Enjoy the penises
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
