I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
